I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize