I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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