I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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