This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just found a bag of teeth...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
