he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She even gives head with a lisp.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
