i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
