There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
People in love make me want to vomit
i dont even know how to be here
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
