i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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