So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So. Much. Porn.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize