I skipped work to stalk him.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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