Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The cops high fived after they tackled you
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
