Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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