she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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