He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
