trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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