My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
