you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
