I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
