We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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