Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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