Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize