"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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