You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
