If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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