I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
