somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize