I'm jealous of your bromance
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
