my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
