I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
