Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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