Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I am available for nakedness
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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