like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
