Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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