I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
