You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize