Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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