and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
