Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
