went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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