My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
