I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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