i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i think i just lost a toe
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
