Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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