so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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