Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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