During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You smell like stripper and shame
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
