did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
