Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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