your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize