Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
