I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
