So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
