totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
