I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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