Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
