what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Holy sore nipples Batman
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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