everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
