Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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