OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
This is my gift to your gina
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
